Disturbing New Trend In The Clark Household: This feels like a defiant statement. They're gonna exert the energy to remove the empty toilet paper roll and dispose of it properly, but instead of putting on a new roll, which is a mere arm's length away, this rebel put the pin back bare, like a springy middle finger that says, "fend for yourself, fam." #trumpsamerica#crying#protestpoops
My aux cord is only playing out of one speaker and it's making me lose my marbles. But if I hold my phone with my right hand, press the plug into my stomach and hold my breath, it plays correctly. Every time I catch my breath, though, the music cuts out and my blood pressure goes up. Here's where I'll be this week if you wanna come ask me how to live life deliciously. #comedy#standup#tulsa#tulsacomedy#livecomedy
There's a new comedy open mic in Tulsa at The Fur Shop on Monday nights. Hosted by the homies @channelfourandahalf. This rules face because (A) Mondays are my Saturdays. (2) I've got new material in need of some gestating. (III) Friends, which could include you. Join us. Sign ups start at 7p or just come at 7:30p to watch. Cost: zero monies. #standup#comedy#tulsacomedy#oklahoma#openmic
ME: What'd you get at the dollar store?
SCOUT: Fake coins. Fake boom box. Fake nerf gun. Fake nerf gun bullets. Pill box for my daily Fun Dip rations. This fake candle. Y'know, typical dollar store stuff.