Tiara Audrey @tiaraaudrey

ऐरावत 🐘 🕉🌴🌊🍉 📍island of gods

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Been a mother for 8.5months now. And motherhood is not an inch close to what i had in mind before, tho i know i would say goodbye to the life i knew (I was not a baby/kid person and i think i still am). Motherhood for me is a battle of love and hate, rationalizing the ego / emotions (and will!!), Re-adjusting my dream and obsession, 24/7 of constant planning while multitask (read: juggling), hundred hours of googling, searching and reading (and still i got 'ibu, harus byk2 baca lg ya!' and a few more bad marks from the pediatrician and others). Torturing my sleep deprived brain with what ifs; 'what if it is not good enough', 'what if I'm not good enough', 'what if its wrong', 'what cud be worse and how am i gonna deal with that', 'how will i cope with this and for how long', 'how am i gonna balance work and a baby', 'will this be a set back from my 'aktualisasi diri 😛' On low tide, i could just enjoy washing tons of baby utensils while looking on full moon through my sink window and called it my me-time. Oh how i miss sky and star gazing, one thing i've rarely done since i came back to Chokekarta. 
This made me wonder, how was my mother's life back then without all of the privileges i have right now. How was her struggle to cope my stubbornness. I love you mama. Thank you for not giving up on me and putting me on your prayer until today. I wont tag u. But i know u'll read this. 😘

#adeape
#deadlineVSsumengbaby
#diaryoffirsttimemothering
#ibukAirBabbling
#everydayshouldbeamothersday #ceritaAir #eightmonthsold #blackandwhite #bnw #blackandwhitephotography #motherhood #momlife #consciousness #consciousparenting #mindfulness #mindfulmom #mindfulmama #goodvibes #positivevibes #breastfeedingmom #bosomnectar #tribedemama #babylove #babyboy  #balibaby #love #mamalove #son #mamasboy #instababy
  • Comments 5

Been a mother for 8.5months now. And motherhood is not an inch close to what i had in mind before, tho i know i would say goodbye to the life i knew (I was not a baby/kid person and i think i still am). Motherhood for me is a battle of love and hate, rationalizing the ego / emotions (and will!!), Re-adjusting my dream and obsession, 24/7 of constant planning while multitask (read: juggling), hundred hours of googling, searching and reading (and still i got 'ibu, harus byk2 baca lg ya!' and a few more bad marks from the pediatrician and others). Torturing my sleep deprived brain with what ifs; 'what if it is not good enough', 'what if I'm not good enough', 'what if its wrong', 'what cud be worse and how am i gonna deal with that', 'how will i cope with this and for how long', 'how am i gonna balance work and a baby', 'will this be a set back from my 'aktualisasi diri 😛' On low tide, i could just enjoy washing tons of baby utensils while looking on full moon through my sink window and called it my me-time. Oh how i miss sky and star gazing, one thing i've rarely done since i came back to Chokekarta. This made me wonder, how was my mother's life back then without all of the privileges i have right now. How was her struggle to cope my stubbornness. I love you mama. Thank you for not giving up on me and putting me on your prayer until today. I wont tag u. But i know u'll read this. 😘 #adeape #deadlineVSsumengbaby #diaryoffirsttimemothering #ibukAirBabbling #everydayshouldbeamothersday #ceritaAir #eightmonthsold #blackandwhite #bnw #blackandwhitephotography #motherhood #momlife #consciousness #consciousparenting #mindfulness #mindfulmom #mindfulmama #goodvibes #positivevibes #breastfeedingmom #bosomnectar #tribedemama #babylove #babyboy #balibaby #love #mamalove #son #mamasboy #instababy

May we exist like the lotus at ease in muddy water. .
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#lotusflower #lotuspond #lotuslife #quotes #quotestoliveby #spiritualquotes #consciousness #nature #naturelovers #naturespirituality #vsco #vscocam
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May we exist like the lotus at ease in muddy water. . . . . . . #lotusflower #lotuspond #lotuslife #quotes #quotestoliveby #spiritualquotes #consciousness #nature #naturelovers #naturespirituality #vsco #vscocam

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