Stephen Biernacki @sbiernacki

( • _ •) ( • _ •)>⌐◼︎-◼︎ (⌐◼︎_◼︎)

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Yesterday in the car: "Daddy, you should put your shade down." "It's not that sunny." *gives suspicious People's Eyebrow* "I can see you squinting." Touché, Blake. 🤺
  • Comments 3

Yesterday in the car: "Daddy, you should put your shade down." "It's not that sunny." *gives suspicious People's Eyebrow* "I can see you squinting." Touché, Blake. 🤺

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THIS is how you do a thank you card. Love @dreaming.zebra.
  • Comments 7

THIS is how you do a thank you card. Love @dreaming.zebra.

Keeping tabs on #aprilthegiraffe at work.
  • Comments 4

Keeping tabs on #aprilthegiraffe at work.

Bye.
  • Comments 3

Bye.

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Next up in the soul train line... #dinosaurs #sheputthemlikethis
  • Comments 1

Next up in the soul train line... #dinosaurs #sheputthemlikethis

Happy Valentine's Day.
  • Comments 2

Happy Valentine's Day.

Still hard to believe the top car was totaled by my insurance company. Let's try this again. 🇩🇪
  • Comments 6

Still hard to believe the top car was totaled by my insurance company. Let's try this again. 🇩🇪

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🍀
  • Comments 4

🍀

my life rn

#Reposting @hurrah4gin --
Small child: Can I have a snack?
Me: No you've just had your breakfast.
Small child: When can I have a snack?
Me: Snack time.
Small child: Is it snack time now?
Me: No it's breakfast time you've just literally finished your breakfast.
Small child: Oh but i'm hungry!
Me: Would you like some more breakfast?
Small child: No i'd like a snack.
Me: FFS.
Small child: When is it snack time?
Me: I'll tell you when it's snack time.
Small child: Is it snack time now?
Me: No.
Small child: Is it snack time now?
Me: No. I said I'd tell you when it's snack time. 
Small child: Is it...?
Me: FUCKING NO.
Small child: Why can't I have a snack?
Me: Because it's lunch time now.
Small child: Oh but I don't like lunch! 
Me: You don't know what it is yet.
Small child: I just hate all things that are lunch.
Me: Fine don't eat your lunch but you are not getting any snacks later.
*3 minutes later*
Small child: Can I have a snack?
Me: No because you didn't eat your lunch. 
Small child: Because I don't like food I just like eating snacks.
Me: EVERYONE PREFERS EATING SNACKS BUT THAT IS NOT HOW LIFE WORKS.
Small child: Is crisps a snack or is crisps a dinner? 
Me: FFS.
Small child: Can i have a snack?
Me: No it's bed time now.
Small child: Oh but i'm hungry!
Me: That's because you haven't eaten ANY FUCKING FOOD. 
Small child: BECAUSE I ONLY LIKE SNACKS!
Me: Go to sleep!
Small child: I'm too hungry to sleep.
Me: I don't care. 
Small child; MEAN HORRIBLE MUMMY!
Me: I love you too good night. 
Small child: Can I have a bag of Quavers? 
Me: *Pours self large glass of wine and stabs self in own eye with finger*
  • Comments 2

my life rn #Reposting @hurrah4gin -- Small child: Can I have a snack? Me: No you've just had your breakfast. Small child: When can I have a snack? Me: Snack time. Small child: Is it snack time now? Me: No it's breakfast time you've just literally finished your breakfast. Small child: Oh but i'm hungry! Me: Would you like some more breakfast? Small child: No i'd like a snack. Me: FFS. Small child: When is it snack time? Me: I'll tell you when it's snack time. Small child: Is it snack time now? Me: No. Small child: Is it snack time now? Me: No. I said I'd tell you when it's snack time. Small child: Is it...? Me: FUCKING NO. Small child: Why can't I have a snack? Me: Because it's lunch time now. Small child: Oh but I don't like lunch! Me: You don't know what it is yet. Small child: I just hate all things that are lunch. Me: Fine don't eat your lunch but you are not getting any snacks later. *3 minutes later* Small child: Can I have a snack? Me: No because you didn't eat your lunch. Small child: Because I don't like food I just like eating snacks. Me: EVERYONE PREFERS EATING SNACKS BUT THAT IS NOT HOW LIFE WORKS. Small child: Is crisps a snack or is crisps a dinner? Me: FFS. Small child: Can i have a snack? Me: No it's bed time now. Small child: Oh but i'm hungry! Me: That's because you haven't eaten ANY FUCKING FOOD. Small child: BECAUSE I ONLY LIKE SNACKS! Me: Go to sleep! Small child: I'm too hungry to sleep. Me: I don't care. Small child; MEAN HORRIBLE MUMMY! Me: I love you too good night. Small child: Can I have a bag of Quavers? Me: *Pours self large glass of wine and stabs self in own eye with finger*

⛸ 2/2 (yes, I know her hair's a wreck)
  • Comments 3

⛸ 2/2 (yes, I know her hair's a wreck)

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Fiiiiiiinally took her skating today. 1/2
  • Comments 2

Fiiiiiiinally took her skating today. 1/2

I'll love you 20% more, @corona.
  • Comments 0

I'll love you 20% more, @corona.

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