“Life is tragic simply because the earth turns and the sun inexorably rises and sets, and one day, for each of us, the sun will go down for the last, last time. Perhaps the whole root of our trouble, the human trouble, is that we will sacrifice all the beauty of our lives, will imprison ourselves in totems, taboos, crosses, blood sacrifices, steeples, mosques, races, armies, flags, nations, in order to deny the fact of death, the only fact we have. It seems to me that one ought to rejoice in the fact of death--ought to decide, indeed, to earn one's death by confronting with passion the conundrum of life. One is responsible for life: It is the small beacon in that terrifying darkness from which we come and to which we shall return.” ― James Baldwin
if you feel resistance from people of color right now, understand it’s deeper than you. your emotions, your well intentioned, recently woke emotions are valid, however immaterial to the issue. to go from being ignored yet scrutinized to suddenly being part of a conversation everyone wants to understand and dissect is a feeling i wasn’t prepared for. people who i’ve never talked to about my experience as a black man suddenly want to know how bad it’s been for me in the gay community. they want me to explain why using the term ‘bbc’ is bad. they want to tell me how they feel about ‘lemonade’ and ‘a seat at the table’ and make sure i understand their views on ‘get out’. forced isn’t the right word, it feels more like the first wave of wokeness (which shouldn’t be a competition or a word for that matter). that point where you just learned some shit and it blew your mind because, you’re now understanding something we’ve known, felt, and have been silenced for. you’re excited and you want to show that you’re not like “them”, those ones over there. you want to convey that you understand and that you care. i love you for that. something i’d suggest mulling over is if what you’re doing comes across as authentic or performative. you may have to check in with others and be open for honesty. if your intention is to understand and be part of progress, you’ll be fine. i can’t guarantee that every person of color, transperson, non-binary, woman, refugee, or immigrant will want to suddenly become your answer desk either. this sudden spotlight is new for all of us. everyone. the fact that everyone expects you to have an answer and want to discuss this stuff all the time is fucking intense pressure. to be late to the party and suddenly want to engage with everyone about who they are, what they stand for, and how they feel can make a person weary of intent. but ask the questions. ask because you want to know. ask because you care, and ask different people. some might not be interested and that’s totally fine, someone out there is and it’s better to gain as many diverse perspectives as you can.