happy easter my little one.
love this holiday and reflecting on all our savior has done for me personally. he has been my light through my darkness. he is with us always, he is risen.
life has been so crazy i almost went the whole day without realizing what today was. it finally hit me when i walked into the grocery store and saw pink balloons and loads of pink flowers. today has been a year since we said goodbye to our sweet baby girl. oh when it hit me, it hit me good. everyone in the grocery store probably thought i was crazy, with my huge sobs. we bought a few pink balloons, grabbed jared from work early and headed to the park on top of the mountain to send them off to our baby girl in heaven. this little gesture gave me the peace and comfort i needed.
i've been so thrilled to be pregnant again, but i didn't realize how many emotions i still had left in me from my loss. i gave myself a few hours to be sad, and get it out my system and now i feel like i'm fully ready to move on. i'm all in for this new baby girl, and excited to give her my whole heart.
losing a baby changed me. it rocked me to my core and i felt as though i had to rediscover who i was. this has been the longest and hardest year, but i have grown so much. i now appreciate life and little things so much more, and for that i as truly grateful. i have so my friends and family members going through a loss or infertility right now and i've been getting so emotional for them. it's something i wish no one ever had to go through. so if you are one struggling right now, here is my big warm virtual hug for you! i understand and have been there, and i'm crying for and with you. the world moves on really fast, but we feel the pain for months, or years after. i'm always here if you need someone, and i pray for those suffering daily. i wish i had a magic remedy to cure the pain, but time is really the only thing that has helped me. you'll one day be stronger and more sympathetic towards everyone that is struggling, and that itself truly is a blessing. 💗
i'm an official soccer mom, woo! i couldn't be more proud! oliver was so excited for his first practice today, and definitely needs more practice 😏, but he absolutely loved it! he was thrilled when he saw his jersey has a 3 on it! he loves wearing black and blue so he can be fast like jackson storm. *he's from the new cars movie that hasn't even come out yet. oliver watches the preview at least a dozen times a day and knows all the characters names already! someone is a little excited to see cars 3 this summer! 😂
picking flowers for baby sister today. we made it to the half way mark last week, and i'm feeling more and more grateful each milestone we get with this girl. oliver felt her move for the first time a few days ago, and got a sweet excited smile on his face (which had me 😭).
he is going to be the best big brother and we cannot wait!
loving my new hand painted bunny banner from @faunaandfloraco. my cousin's cute fiancé opened a new little etsy shop. check it out, her products are beautiful!
happy birthday to @jaredahl. our favorite guy and best friend! we lucked out having the most easy going and chill guy in our fam. he's stoked when i "make" cereal for dinner, or is totally fine with going to bed at 9pm on a saturday night because i'm exhausted! 😂
we love you more than anything, thanks for choosing us!! 😍😘
i am so excited i get to pass down my very first baby doll to my baby GIRL dahl!!! we cannot wait!!
i've been feeling extremely grateful lately.
pregnancy after a loss isn't easy. you are thrilled to be pregnant again, but it doesn't replace the sweet baby you lost.
this babe has kept me on my toes since early on. i was told i had a subchorionic hemorrhage, which led to scary bleeding and spotting for a handful of weeks, plus an increased rate of having a miscarriage. extra doctors appointments and ultrasounds helped a little, but what has carried me though the most has been prayer. i know we've had extra prayers sent our way this pregnancy and we have felt them so much. they have truly carried me through all the anxiety i have had.
my midwives have been angels and recommended me getting my big 20 week ultrasound done at 18 weeks, and i am happy to say that this baby is so perfectly healthy i could cry a river! hitting 18 weeks was a huge milestone to me, since we lost our baby girl in the 17th week last year. i have been feeling so blessed to enter each new week of pregnancy and i wish i could fast forward to august! feeling so lucky to have you little one, you're a keeper i know it! ♥️
we got to enjoy one last weekend in st george at grandma & grandpa atwood's condo before it sold. oliver was so sad to leave, i think you are his fave sunny STG!
biking in the red dirt in st george is our absolute favorite!
still day dreaming of this pretty store in venice // @generalstore
always fighting nap time, but falls asleep in 5 minutes flat. i just want to kiss that sleepy face a million times!!